I think that people need fuel to live.  I don’t mean the basic necessities like food, water, and sleep.  I mean the things that really keep people running: love, hope, ambition, self-worth, purpose, friendship… the things that make the difference between “living” and “just barely breathing.”

But there are times when none of those are readily available.  What are you supposed to do in a situation like that?  I think that when you really feel that those things are gone and unattainable, when you’re running out of fuel, you have two choices.  You can give up, as so many people needlessly do, or you run on the only thing you have left — willpower.

To me, willpower isn’t really in the same category as the others.  I got these questionably useful definitions from an online dictionary:

willpower [ˈwɪlˌpaʊə]
n

1. the ability to control oneself and determine one’s actions
2. firmness of will

Er, okay, that didn’t really help.  Especially the second one, which breaks all the good rules of defining words, but anyways.  I would define “willpower” as more along the lines of doing something, or continuing to do something, to eventually attain a goal, despite the fact that you have no hope or self-worth or any of the other good stuff.  And you don’t know why you’re still going, but maybe it’s just because if you don’t do it, you don’t know what else to do, and then maybe there really is nothing left.

Sorry, this post is sounding a lot more depressing than I meant it to >__<;;

I was just thinking about people who have clinical depression, or lose their lives by their own hand, because they lost their fuel.  But I don’t think that it’s completely up to a person to make that fuel for themselves.  Most of the time, that fuel is derived from something external to a person: from religion, from family, from friends.

Of course, it is up to a person to take what is given and use it as fuel, and everyone needs to have their own self-drive for any of those things to work.  But I don’t agree with the people who say that it’s all up to “you” and you can’t depend on anyone else or expect them to do anything for you, and nobody has any responsibility for anybody else.  No offense to people who do believe in that, but to me it sounds like the talk of someone who has nothing and is just trying to convince themselves that life can be lived alone, or someone who has been given everything and therefore doesn’t know how hard it is to get anything.

Sorry for the um, semi-depressing sort of too opinionated babble.  I’m not really sure what I meant to say in this post, but it was just a thought that was rattling around in my head.

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